The Chocolate Lounge

September 15, 2010 § 1 Comment

The other day my wife did something sweet.  She encouraged me to take the laptop and to drive downtown and just sit at a coffee shop to write.  She’s the kind of wife that loves me enough to take the time to think about my needs, and being that I’m an introvert she knows that sometimes I just need some time to myself.

I felt guilty at first, leaving her to care for our child, but it had been a long and hurtful week being that I have had more unpleasant exchanges with my extended family.  I just needed to get away from everything familiar for a little while.  It was a gorgeous day.  The temperature was cool but inviting, the sun’s light seemed as pristine as the crystal blue sky,  It was so beautiful that it made the car ride into town feel more relaxing than a task.

I walked downtown and was amazed at all the life I found there.  Artists had set up their isles all throughout the streets and in the parks and were painting pictures of life as it infolded.  I counted maybe 60 or so painters total along with their friends and onlookers who stopped to comment and take a gander.  I took a good long breath in feeling rejuvenated as the air itself almost seemed to dance inside my lungs.  “I love this town,” I think to myself.

There was a time however when I would walk these streets and feel entirely different.  I used to walk them and feel more remorse and sadness for its ‘depravity’ and its ‘lost-ness.’  What I didn’t realize was that despite my concern and distorted love for the people of this town I was the one who was lost; I was the one being deprived of life and all of this towns beauty.  I couldn’t enjoy life as it was happening all around me and right before my very eyes because my ‘life’ was stuck in feeling remorse for those who did not need my pity.

Now I feel like I see again, now I feel like I can breathe.  I feel like I am truly myself, doubts and reservations, beliefs and hopes and dreams all alike.  I feel like I can finally accept my world and love it, and at 29 it feels like it’s for the first time in my life.

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§ One Response to The Chocolate Lounge

  • william wallace says:

    Remorse / as sadness at depravity / one be introvert / such
    show one being at a advanced state in conscious development.

    Where feel there’s no answer to the situation such then one
    overcome by negative feelings ( this much to ones christian
    teachings where playing roll of christ /one feels if people
    don’t repent for their sin / then one acting as christ will
    take the sins upon themself /such act well revealing a good
    soul / pure intent / however with somewhat misunderstanding.

    Christ’s consciousness was on the essence of creation / thus
    never was drowning in human emotions / thus did not perceive
    the world as others having been wrote as implied / he was in
    world but not of the world /as being bound by human emotions
    his focus was the inner essence of creation /thus such times
    of meditation /as of the well within in quenching all thirst.

    It being such he taught to the disciples thus how they could
    be so true / confidant in spreading the word (the word being
    the breath of life) in giving such focus unto its real value
    thus the word of God within every breath/revealing true love.

    A small but interestig matter of the times / of all disciples
    it was mary magdalene whom the most advanced in understanding
    whom got most value where // taught to turn the senses inward
    her writings never taken to account being a woman / nor being
    credited by man (beig the whole basis of christianity was but
    based on the sin of woman /thus distortion given of the times.

    One must take account many times the teacher of teachers takes
    human form and walks the earth / giving such same knowledge of
    spiritual understanding experience /turning the senses inwards.

    Hence do not look on the qualities your having as bad as judge
    yourself badly / being consumed by your feelings your emotions
    being introvert / but a stage of learning in turning th senses
    inwards/ that is not a curse but an great blessing / where see
    the folly of humanity / not a curse but your developing higher
    consciousness /again not a curse but indeed such your blessing.

    The problem where not fully aware of inner development / if so
    then such awareness of true self would be a source of strength
    thus you do not drown / as be consumed by feelings as emotions
    not feel your in an hopeless situation, but know your strength.

    People vary at their stages of spiritual deveopment / thus one
    must adgust to such / dont look from mind / but from the heart
    do not focus on the bad / let your foundations of judgement be
    focused / built upon the good in being that the faintest spark.

    Every day of life an day to rejoice / in time with development
    of spiritual / the journey begin ease from its present burdens.
    It has been a long long journey for humanity / the final stage
    of the journey be now the process / turning the senses inwards
    in it’s unfolding of the spiritual being through enlightenment.

    Hence why the first shall be last /it for the first in serving
    guiding / its for the first in making sacrifice /in every soul
    achieving enlihtenment / it then a time to merge with creation.

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