September 8, 2010 § Leave a comment
Back in college I had a bit of a hick-up, a very expensive one to say the least. It was my senior year and I was writing my senior thesis paper partially inspired by Jeremy Campbell’s book; Grammatical Man. The reason this hick-up was so costly is because it caused my to spiral deep into depression and I ended up taking an incomplete for that semester. fours years later I still have to finish my college education. The reasons for my ever-increasing anxiety and depression were and are quiet complicated, and was quite hard for me to swallow, but I feel as though now I am finally honest enough to deal with it.
It isn’t as simple as saying it all boils down to math, but on the other hand it isn’t that much more complicated either. Grammatical Man is a very special book. The book outlines the rise of information theory, it’s cosmical mysteriousness, and why properly understanding it is crucial for societal advancement. It talks about how we handle information, what it is, and how it is elemental in a very underestimated way in how it influences a wide variety of things ranging from language, art, dance, physics, biology, and math. Without it we never would have developed algorithms, morse-code, T.V.’s, computers, and A.I… It talks specifically about how we learn language during infancy, how it is unnatural, and how it is really evolutionarily impossible yet how it happens anyway. For this reason it has really bugged evolutionary theorists to this day.
The reason for my depression and how it relates to all this is simple; you can’t prove the God of the Bible. I was annoyingly zealous to my professors for sure, constantly undermining their assumptions and very modern predetermined ideas. I was taught to be this way at my international prep school growing up in Japan. Our teachers and parents where all very paranoid that we’d just believe whatever we were told in college. Unfortunate for them, teaching kids to think can backfire on you. It backfired on me too. I was trying to prove the existence of the God of the Bible. Notwithstanding the resurrection contradictions, I had no idea just how much of a bad idea this was going to be when I started writing my paper. I thought I could piggy back on Jeremy Campbell’s work and somehow convince the world of its folly and even ontologically prove the existence of God through ridiculously convoluted syllogisms. I thought because it makes sense to say that absolute truth exists, logically, that this would mean that the idea of a omniscient-infallible God, like the one Bible proposes, would have to exist.
What I didn’t realize is that in order for the existence of absolute truth to be meaningful information, you would have to already have a complete understanding of absolute truth for it to even be meaningful information. Absolute ‘Truth’ (or information) is meaningless without an absolute vantage point of understanding it. Since none of do have that luxury, it is meaningless to talk about except to say that it is meaningless to talk about. We only have enough information to know that we don’t have all the information. Sounds as equally obvious as ironic right? Even talking about an absolute or infinite God in terms of numbers, everything has to be included in the scale of infinity. All negative numbers, positive, real, and imaginary are all included. This is to say that God IS EVERYTHING, mathematically that is. So it makes less sense to call God infinite if He/She/It is not both good and evil, loving and ambivalent, kind and cruel. It certainly makes existential sense that God would be this way being that he lets some live in the lap if luxury while others and starve and die, while some loose loved ones while others don’t seems to appreciate those they have.
So all this is to say, I think I am going to finish that paper now..